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Monthly Archives: August 2008

A trinket was tossed down from the heavens. It was fashioned in the shape of an animal, maybe a giraffe, with a glow and sparkle like cheap crap out of an entrance machine. While still in the air, a young zealot sprang into the sky to take hold of the trinket. In the air, he did a flip, and then stretched out his body with all his might, reaching up so far that his armpit ached until his desperate hand finally took hold of the trinket.

Once he acquired the object, and whilst still in the air, it was as if time stopped. A disturbing holler of excitement come through his mouth as beams of red and pink stars began puking out of both eyes. Time started again, but the stars continued coming out of his eyes and he began descending back to the ground. As he descended, his body was nearly in a seated position, as if he were sitting in a chair. But if the invisible chair were rotating continuously forward, making the man continuously flip.

This continued and the rotations became faster and faster as he came lower and lower. Amazingly, he literally hit the ground running and proceeded to run down the street. He continued running until he reached the other side of the Earth and disappeared.


Many, many years ago, the god of excrement made a deal with humankind. He said, If multiple times a day you will show me your private parts and present your urine and feces as an offering to me, I will utterly remove such waste from your presence. Humankind agreed. Then, the god of excrement instructed, Build you a room and place in it an altar idol which you shall call Toilette for which to offer your gifts unto me. Humankind did so. And to this day, nearly every building has a room dedicated to the god of excrement, with an altar idol in his image.

This list is incomplete and is still a work in progress. At this point, I’ve not differentiated between US, Japanese, and European releases. Due to the age of the games, there are some difficulties in determining which region releases exist and which languages are available.

SNES RPG List v0.1

  • 3×3 Eyes – Juuma Houkan ?
  • 3×3 Eyes – Seima Kourinden ?
  • 7th Saga, The
  • ActRaiser
  • ActRaiser 2
  • AD&D – Eye of the Beholder
  • Alcahest
  • Arcana
  • Bahamut Lagoon
  • Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon – Another Story
  • Brain Lord
  • Brandish
  • Brandish 2 – The Planet Buster
  • Breath of Fire
  • Breath of Fire II
  • Chrono Trigger
  • Cyber Knight
  • Cyber Knight II – Chikyuu Teikoku no Yabou
  • Dragon Ball Z – Super Gokuuden Kakusei Hen
  • Dragon Ball Z – Super Gokuuden Totsugeki Hen
  • Dragon Ball Z – Super Saiya Densetsu
  • Dragon Quest
  • Dragon View
  • Drakkhen
  • Dual Orb
  • Dual Orb II
  • Dungeon Master
  • E.V.O. Search for Eden
  • Earthbound
  • Feda – The Emblem of Justice
  • Final Fantasy – Mystic Quest
  • Final Fantasy II
  • Final Fantasy III
  • Final Fantasy V
  • Front Mission
  • Front Mission – Gun Hazard
  • Hamelin no Violin Tamaki
  • Harvest Moon
  • Illusion of Gaia
  • Inindo – Way of the Ninja
  • Kidou Senshi Kundom …
  • Kouryuu Densetsu Villgust – Kieta Shoujo
  • Lady Stalker – Kako Kara no Chousen
  • Lagoon
  • Legend of Zelda, The – A Link to the Past
  • Live A Live
  • Lufia & The Fortress of Doom
  • Lufia II – Rise of the Sinistrals
  • Mahou Kishi Rayearth
  • Might and Magic II – Gates to Another World
  • Might and Magic III – Isles of Terra
  • Monstania
  • Mystic Ark
  • Ogre Battle – The March of the Black Queen
  • Paladin’s Quest
  • Ranma Nibunnoichi – Akanekodan Teki Hihou
  • Robotrek
  • Romancing SaGa
  • Romancing SaGa 2
  • Romancing SaGa 3
  • Rudra no Hihou
  • Secret of Evermore
  • Secret of Mana
  • Secret of the Stars
  • Seiken Densetsu 3
  • Shadowrun
  • Soul Blazer
  • Star Ocean
  • Super Famicom Wars
  • Super Mario RPG – Legend of the Seven Stars
  • Tales of Phantasia
  • Tenchi Muyou! Game Hen
  • Tenchi wo Kurau – San Kuni Shi Gunyuuden
  • Terranigma
  • Treasure Hunter G
  • Twisted Tales of Spike McFang, The
  • Ultima – Kyouryuu Teikoku
  • Ultima – Runes of Virtue II
  • Ultima VI – The False Prophet
  • Ultima VII – The Black Gate
  • Uncharted Waters
  • Uncharted Waters – New Horizons
  • Wizardry I-II-III – Story of Llylgamyn
  • Wizardry V – Heart of the Maelstrom
  • Wizardry VI – Bane of the Cosmic Forge
  • Wonder Project J – Kikai no Shounen Pino
  • Ys III – Wanderers from Ys
  • Ys IV – Mask of the Sun
  • Ys V – Ushinawareta Sabako Miyako Kefin
  • Yuu Yuu Hakusho ?

Okay, so there’s this big controversy about the age of some of the girls on China’s Olympic gymnastics team. The rules are that they’re supposed to be at least 16 to compete. Not everyone is convinced that all these girls are.

For several of the gymnasts from other countries, the prompt stating their name, nation, etc. has clearly stated their age to be 15. I’m guessing this is allowed because their birthdays are actually later this year.

I think a lot of people have overlooked, or just don’t realise, how Chinese count age. In most of the Western world, if you’re born on 4 July 2008, you are not considered a year old until 4 July 2009. This isn’t so in China (as well as some other Asian nations). In China, you are considered a year old on the day you are born.

So, if the Chinese are counting this way, then yes, they very well could have 15 year olds  (by Western thinking) on their team. Now, if we applied the scenario above where a girl is actually 15, but will be 16 later this year to Chinese counting, we effectively decrement these numbers by 1. Thus, a girl who is 14 (by Western thinking) and will be 15 (again, by Western thinking) later this year, we can see how there could indeed be 14 year olds on the team.

For the record, I don’t think it’s a big deal. The girls can do their skills, then they deserve their medals. What really needs to be investigated is the judging and the tie breaking procedure, and whether there should even be a tie breaker.

Almost every day, I spend a few minutes that I’ll never get back playing Vampires on Facebook. I’m not sure why I play, it’s not an overly exciting game really. Perhaps it’s the prospect of levels, and points, and rank.

Anyway, there’s an item, or rather weapon, called the Chicken Suit. One can only use the Chicken Suit against a player who is in their friend list. Whoever has the Chicken Suit used against them, loses all their battles for two entire days.

If you have any strategic intelligence, you’d quickly realise that since you gain more points for defeating a higher level opponent, you could  reap masses of points by fighting a top tier player who had been suited.

Unfortunately, that line of thinking is so totally wrong. You’d think that you, being maybe level 5 or so, would reap, oh, say, hundreds of points for victories against a player with over an hundred thousand experience points, right? But, again, that thinking is totally incorrect. There’s a few unwritten details of how this works.

First, the most points you can get from a victory is 10 points (per fight, so that’s 30 if you use 3 fights at a time). This result is providing that you are fighting a monster of another species than your own, and that the opposing monster has significantly more points than yours. If it’s the same species of monster, you get 9 points (or 27 points for a triple attack).

Clearly, this is better than the measly 5 points or so that you normally get from a battle, but it’s not going to land you in the top tier anytime soon as this situation only lasts for 2 days.

Now you might be thinking to search through the rankings for top tier players who are already suited, and simply attack them. But, this is even worse. If you’re not a friend of the suited player, you will receive only 1 point per fight.

So, yeah, the Chicken Suit isn’t overly useful these unwritten stipulations in place. My recommendation is that these unwritten rules for the suit be altered to either allow players to suit non-friends andor receive the normal amount of points from attacking a non-friend suited player.

Here is a list of GBA RPGs released in Japan. This list is incomplete and is a work in progress. At the moment, it contains primarily titles that correspond to those on the US list, as well as additional titles in a series. All titles are romanised. In most instances where a Japanese word in the title is in fact a Japanese version of an English word, the proper English word is simply used (i.e., ‘Final Fantasy’ instead of ‘Fainaru Fantazii’). Note that minor, and occasionally gross, variation between US and Japanese titles for the same game do exist. In all likeliness, this list will be much larger than its US and European counterparts.

Some title variations to note:

  • Bokujou Monogatari is Harvest Moon
  • Hagane no Renkinjutsushi is Fullmetal Alchemist
  • Mother is Earthbound
  • Ougon no Taiyou is Golden Sun
  • Rockman is Megaman

GBA RPG List (Japan) v0.4

  • Battle Network Rockman EXE
  • Battle Network Rockman EXE 2
  • Battle Network Rockman EXE 3
  • Battle Network Rockman EXE 3 Black
  • Bokujou Monogatari – Mineral Town no Nakamatachi
  • Bokujou Monogatari – Mineral Town no Nakamatachi for Girl
  • Bomberman Jetters
  • Bomberman Story
  • Breath of Fire
  • Breath of Fire 2
  • Chinmoku no Iseki – Estpolis Gaiden
  • Dragon Ball Z – The Legacy of Goku II
  • Final Fantasy I & II Dawn of Souls
  • Final Fantasy IV Advance
  • Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
  • Final Fantasy V Advance
  • Final Fantasy VI Advance
  • Fire Emblem – Fuuin no Tsurugi
  • Fire Emblem – Rekka no Ken
  • Fire Emblem – Seima no Kouseki
  • Game Boy Wars Advance
  • Hagane no Renkinjutsushi – Meisou no Rondo
  • Hagane no Renkinjutsushi – Omoide no Sonata
  • Harobots – Robo Hero Battling!!
  • Lunar Legend
  • Mario & Luigi RPG
  • Mother 1 + 2
  • Mother 3
  • One Piece – Dragon Dream
  • One Piece, From TV Animation – Mezase! King of Berry
  • One Piece, From TV Animation – Nanatsu Shima no Daihihou
  • Onimusha Tactics
  • Ougon no Taiyou – Hirakareshi Fuuin
  • Ougon no Taiyou – Ushinawareshi Toki
  • Pocket Monsters Emerald
  • Pocket Monsters Fire Red
  • Pocket Monsters Leaf Green
  • Pocket Monsters Ruby
  • Pocket Monsters Sapphire
  • Riviera – Yakusoku no Chi Riviera
  • Robot Ponkottsu 2 – Cross Version
  • Robot Ponkottsu 2 – Ring Version
  • Shining Force – Kuroki Ryuu no Fukkatsu
  • Shining Soul I
  • Shining Soul II
  • Shinyaku Seiken Densetsu
  • Summon Night – Craft Sword Monogatari
  • Summon Night – Craft Sword Monogatari 2
  • Summon Night – Craft Sword Monogatari Hajimari no Ishi
  • Super Robot Taisen – Original Generation
  • Super Robot Taisen – Original Generation 2
  • Super Robot Taisen A
  • Super Robot Taisen D
  • Super Robot Taisen J
  • Super Robot Taisen R
  • Tactics Ogre Gaiden – The Knight of Lodis
  • Tales of Phantasia
  • Zelda no Densetsu – Fushigi no Boushi
  • Zelda no Densetsu – Kamigami no Triforce & 4tsu no Tsurugi
  • Z.O.E. 2173 – Testament

This is a work and progress and is not complete. In time, there will be another list like this for Japanese releases, maybe one for European (multi-language) releases, and possibly even some for SNES RPGs. Note that I include some titles which purists might not consider true RPGs such as Zelda and tactical RPGs.

GBA RPG List (US) v0.4

  • Advance Wars
  • Advance Wars 2 – Black Hole Rising
  • Breath of Fire
  • Breath of Fire 2
  • Dragon Ball Z – Buu’s Fury
  • Dragon Ball Z – The Legacy of Goku
  • Dragon Ball Z – The Legacy of Goku II
  • Final Fantasy I & II Dawn of Souls
  • Final Fantasy IV Advance
  • Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
  • Final Fantasy V Advance
  • Final Fantasy VI Advance
  • Fire Emblem
  • Fire Emblem – The Sacred Stones
  • Golden Sun
  • Golden Sun – The Lost Age
  • Harvest Moon – Friends of Mineral Town
  • Harvest Moon – More Friends of Mineral Town
  • Legend of Zelda, The – A Link to the Past & Four Swords
  • Legend of Zelda, The – The Minish Cap
  • Lufia – The Ruins of Lore
  • Lunar Legend
  • Mario & Luigi – Superstar Saga
  • Mech Platoon
  • Megaman Battle Network
  • Megaman Battle Network 2
  • Megaman Battle Network 3 Blue
  • Megaman Battle Network 3 White
  • Megaman Battle Network 4 Blue Moon
  • Megaman Battle Network 4 Red Sun
  • Megaman Battle Network 5 Team Colonel
  • Megaman Battle Network 5 Team Protoman
  • Megaman Battle Network 6 Cybeast Falzar
  • Megaman Battle Network 6 Cybeast Gregar
  • Onimusha Tactics
  • Phantasy Star Collection
  • Pokémon Emerald
  • Pokémon FireRed
  • Pokémon LeafGreen
  • Pokémon Sapphire
  • Pokémon Ruby
  • Riviera – The Promised Land
  • Robopon 2 – Cross Version
  • Robopon 2 – Ring Version
  • Shining Force – Resurrection of the Dark Dragon
  • Shining Soul I
  • Shining Soul II
  • Sigma Star Saga
  • Summon Night – Swordcraft Story
  • Summon Night – Swordcraft Story 2
  • Super Robot Taisen – Original Generation
  • Super Robot Taisen – Original Generation 2
  • Sword of Mana
  • Tactics Ogre – The Knight of Lodis
  • Tales of Phantasia
  • Zone of the Enders – The Fist of Mars

Masses, and masses of people, an ocean of people standing everywhere. But there’s a trail that really stands out because there’s no people on it. It’s the only piece of ground for kilometres where there are no people. If you looked down the trail, you wouldn’t see the end. Not because the trail wasn’t straight, but because it’s so long.

As you walk down the trail, you reach a shadow that spans over the trail and the masses. At this point, you can finally see the end. There’s a large tower. For the most part, the tower’s texture is rounded and smooth like river stones. But there’s spikes or horns emanating from it, presenting a devilish contrast. The whole either slate grey or black, you can’t really tell because the sunlight on it makes the colour ambiguous.

Closer, and closer you go. Soon you can see the trail leads up a rather steep set of grandiose stairs. And the stairs lead up to disturbingly large doors. In the cast iron blackness of the doors, you can clearly see there etched jackal feastings and carnivorous ceremonies.

With a consistency and elegance, the doors smoothly float open. Once open, Duel of the Fates began to blare across the entire spectrum. And as you see Sawyer walk out from the door, you realise for the first time in your life that the song is saying “Sawyer comes forth! Sawyer lives with us!”.

Despite some minor ambiguities, I have determined that the song Shake It by Metro Station is referring to playing a game of chess. The three protagonists of this narrative are a boy, a girl, and a friend of the boy. Here’s the interpretation:

(Let’s Drop!)

This is referring to setting up the board and game pieces.


(Come On)

(Shake, shake)

These are just various cheers of excitement for the game to commence.

I’ll take you home if you don’t leave me at the front door (leave me at the front door)

The boy is offering to take the girl home if in turn she will play a game of chess with him at her house.

Your body’s cold, but girl we’re getting so warm

The girl is cold, but she’s getting warmed up for the game.

And I was thinking of ways that I could get inside (get inside)

The boy’s considering various tactical moves.

Tonight you’re falling in love (let me go now)

Normally, the girl doesn’t enjoy chess, but the boy is hoping that she will become a more regular player.

This feeling’s stirring me up (here we go now)

He’s referring to the anticipation of the game.

Now if she does it like this, will you do it like that

Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back

Now if she moves like this, will you move it like that (come on)

At this point, the picture becomes blurry and we see a flashback. In anticipation of this game, the boy’s friend is coaching him on which moves to use to counter the girl’s moves.

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it

If achieving victory becomes impossible, the friend advises the boy the to shake the board as a very last resort.

Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare (eyes are in a straight stare)

Now the girl exhibits nervousness, but is able to maintain focus.

You’re on the bed but your clothes are laying right there

Apparently, they upped the stakes and are playing strip chess, with the girl losing. Likewise, it appears that they were able to move the board onto the bed, presumably to be more comfortable.

And I was thinking of places that I could hide (I could hide)

Basically, the boy is referring to covering his king, castling perhaps.

Tonight you’re falling in love (let me go now)

Again, the boy asserts his opinion that the girl will become obsessed with chess after this game.

This feeling’s stirring me (here we go now)

The thought of creating a new chess player is an emotional experience for the boy.

Well I saw you dancing and I couldn’t get you off my mind

From the context, it seems the girl was taking a long time to maker her move, so the boy imagined her dancing.

(I could tell that you could tell that I was taking my time)

It seems the boy was stalling his move or considering it carefully, and the girl noticed this.

I was thinking of ways that you would stay and be mine

Now the boy is having grandiose thoughts of making the girl his disciple.

(Your body’s shaking, turn me on, so I can turn off the lights)

At this point, the game is nearly over. The girl distraught because she is on the verge of losing. It seems that this is causing her a long time to make a move, so the boy uses a poetic construction to requests that she wake him up when the game is over so that he can go home and go to sleep.

Long, long ago, there was a man named Moon. Moon just kinda hung out on his own, doing his own thing. Then he saw a really hot woman named Sun. He instantly fell in love with her. The two became great lovers.

Then one day, a new girl moved in the neighbourhood. Her name was Earth. She was very young, but had beautiful blue hair. Moon saw her and couldn’t help falling in love with her. Of course, Sun was really pissed off at her paedophile lover Moon, and divorced him. In turn, Moon moved in with Earth and made her the centre of his life. As Earth matured, she became sexier and hotter. This is the cause of Global Warming.

Further out in the neighbourhood lived a pimp named Saturn. He had the most moons in the neighbourhood.

On the outskirts of town, lived Pluto. No one really knew if he was a moon or a planet, so they labeled him as an hermaphrodite.