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Constant panting echoed through the pure white halls of Heaven as John Brown hustled towards the transporter room. Once inside, and still gasping, his sweaty hand slapped the red button to send him back to Earth. Sparkles flew and particles of light circled around him as the room began to incrementally shake in a mechanical way.

Soon enough, John was sliding through inter-dimensional wormhole. The walls of swirling purple plasma and constricting high pressure came to a relieving end as his body began to materialise on Earth. Visually, it looked much the same as the beginning of his journey: sparkles with particles of light spiraling around him.

After fully materialising, John stretched. His large white feathered wings straightened to their full length. His superhuman manifestation was entirely snow white, except his skin retained some element of life, bearing a fleshly hue. Considerably taller than a normal man, he still was retained an humanoid form, with the notable addition of the wings. Each hand held a large doubled edged sword with the blades encircled by glowing white flames.

Apparently, it was nighttime, with a mild breeze in the air. Noone was out and about, despite the nice light cast from the not entirely full moon. In this light of darkness, John began his first visit. The way in which he moved gave the appearance that under his long white robe, neither his feet nor legs were actually moving, but rather floating or sliding along the ground effortlessly.

Before long, his irking pace led him to the wooden door of a farmhouse. With both fists, still holding the swords, he beat on the door. A middle-aged woman answered the door.

Letting out an elongated “Hoooo!” with his rounded lips and with the tip of the sword in his left hand he bopped her on the head, inflicting a mortal wound. Upon hearing the commotion, her husband rose from his chair, yelling, “What the sam hell..”. Seeing the visiter, his eyes grew larger, leaving him in a paralysed shock. Brown then lunged towards him with the sword in his right hand, piercing the man’s chest. The man hollered, “Ahhh! You got me!” before Brown lopped off his head with the other sword.

Now, the entire household was awake. The slaves rushed to their master’s aid, only to find they no longer had a master. Seeing them, Brown raised both arms into the air, and boisterously declared, “You are freeeee!” With feelings mixed with gratitude and fear, they fled his presence.

The remainder of the night continued in much the same way. John joyously jogged from one homestead to the next. He developed an rhythmic methodology, not unlike that of a ballroom dance. In fact, the Bitter Sweet Symphony Remix began to play at the beginning of each visit he made.

Finally, after another visit, the wide eyes of his no nonsense expression gazed into the sky to see that dawn was quickly approaching. Around half way back to the town square, he realised he wasn’t going to make it. Dropping both swords, he used each hand to hold up his flowing robe. Bustling along as quickly as he could, he cried allowed with a tinge of desperation in his tone, “I have to get back to Heaven!”

Reaching the destination right in time, he quickly spun around and stomped his right foot onto the ground. The earth shook and sparkles flew as particles of light began to encircle him.

Every nation needs an anthem. There’s no reason the pirate nation should be an exception. Thus, I nominate He’s a Pirate (Orchestral Mix) by Dj Tiësto to be the anthem of the pirate nation.

With the air of adventure and exploration, the song captures the spirit of the pirate that lives on since the golden age of piracy. In addition, the electronic sounds bear witness to the modern state of piracy as well as the projection of piracy into the future.

What was so bad about Smith’s Hitler remarks? He wasn’t praising Hitler, Smith maintained that Hitler was a vile man. Pretty much everyone agrees with this, it could be said to be a universal truth. When folks think of ‘bad people’, Hitler is up there near the top of the list. The essence of Smith’s remark was that Hitler was not intending to be a vile human being, but rather in his [Hitler’s] own contorted reasoning, he was doing what he thought was right.

I find Smith’s argument to be very reasonable. From what we know historically about Hitler and from even his own writings, it would certainly seem that Hitler’s actions were a result of his own interpretation of what was right. Therein lies the problem.

In contemporary thinking, relativity is very much accepted. We know physical relativity exists in the form of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, and this has overflowed into philosophical thinking as well, resulting in the ideas of relativism. Particularly, the notion that if one thinks something is right, then it is right (i.e., there are no absolute truths). This is why ‘toleration’ is such a keyword because we often have differing interpretations and opinions on the exact definition of ‘right’.

However, most people in a given culture roughly have similar concept of ‘right’, usually based around the laws that govern them (don’t kill, don’t steal, etc.). So this notion of relativity seems pretty reasonable and tends to slip by unnoticed. Yet, when we try to apply it universally, inclusive of individuals like Hitler, we run into serious problems.

If because one thinks something is right, then, by relativism, it is right. Then we have, Hitler thought what he did was right, then, by relativism, what he did was right. Clearly, what Hitler did was not right, thus relativism is proved false by contradiction.

This is exactly why everyone flew off the handle at Smith. It wasn’t about Smith saying “Hitler was a good person”, it was that Smith said Hitler “set out to do what he thought was ‘good.’ “.